is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
