why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
