Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
