So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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