I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize