Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
