I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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