i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
