I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
