So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize