I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
