Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
