and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Randomize
