That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
