marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
