I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
