if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
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