Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
