Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she told me i tasted like america
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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