I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
