yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
