he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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