So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
