i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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