A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
