Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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