I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
