I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
