we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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