Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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