Ambien. No doubt about it.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
