Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
