New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
