i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
