3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Ambien. No doubt about it.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
