I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
