I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
