you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
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