marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
