I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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