8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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