She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
