guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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