I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
