Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I need to sanitize my soul.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Your penis caused this!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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