Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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