You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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