I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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