i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
