Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
