u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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