you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
