he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
