you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize