can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
