She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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