He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
